"Tell me the truth," he said. "The only thing anyone ever says is, 'It's the best thing I ever did.'"
I laughed and immediately replied, "It's the best thing I ever did." Long pause. "And it's the hardest thing I ever did."
I'm going to speak honestly here. Are you ready?
There are certainly been times that I have thought to myself, or even said out loud to Tim, why in the hell did we decide to have a kid? Being a parent is unbelievably hard - especially when you are as selfish as I am. It is not about *you* anymore, not ever. (Well, maybe on Mother's Day, but you're probably committing at least 407 selfless acts on that day instead of your usual 907.) There are the really hard days where nothing is right and no one is happy and many tears are shed. There are the days when you just want to run away and do only what you want to do when you want to do it. There are the days when you feel like you haven't been alone in years, and you just want to have 5 freaking minutes by yourself to silently pound a glass of wine.
And then there are the other days. The days of baby laughs and beaming smiles. Days of cuddles and kisses, new experiences and pure joy. The days of growth and excitement and change. The days of seeing the world for the first time through your child's eyes. And these days come so much more often than the others.
So here's the thing that I didn't say to him but should have: Becoming a parent gives us this outrageous capacity for love. You will love this little person more than you ever thought possible. I think our hearts must grow 3 sizes on the day that we first see our baby's face. And along with that love come this new & incredible compassion for others. We are more empathetic, we are more patient, we are more kind. I believe that, for me, being a parent has made me a better person.
(It also makes us absolute freaking superheroes. There's something pretty cool about that too.)
No comments:
Post a Comment