This is a false statement. Katie, you so funny.
Welcome to the New Reality, friends.
- Getting up at 8am is really sleeping in.
- You will use the word "poop" more than you could ever imagine.
- You will not think twice about eating something that has already been been in the mouth of another person.
- "Going down" means something very, very, very different.
- The idea of going out at 9pm seems like absolute madness.
- At 3am, you are willing to barter *anything* in order to not have to take that feeding.
- Your vocabulary is expanded not via literature but through Diapers.com. Bumbo. Boppy. Moby.
- You will always have Cheerios - both in the house and on the floor of every room.
- You will know that the Yo Gabba Gabba characters are not sex toys.
- You will not only know the face your child makes while he's pooping, you will know the face he makes before it happens.
- You will dress your child up in the cutest clothes from Baby Gap while you yourself wear yoga pants and sweatshirts.
- You will smell your child's butt in public. You will be unconcerned about this action.
And finally, the most important piece of the New Reality:
- You will have more love in your heart for one person that you ever imagined possible....and even more so each night after he's gone down.