How old do you have to be to....?

My kid turned five earlier this month. He is utterly and thoroughly delighted at becoming another year older.

He is constantly asking, "How old do you have to be to [insert something awesome here]?"

Or he'll say, "Can 5 year-olds [insert something rad here]?"

He is completely bought into the idea that each year older means more opportunity, more fun, and generally, more awesomeness.

If only this was the case for all of us.

I am approaching a milestone birthday this year as well, and while I love Birthday Fun Week and all of the fanfare that goes along with a big birthday, I've still been feeling kind of blah about it. But then, suddenly, last weekend, a few things occurred to me.

• Would I really want to be, say, 30 years old again? Nope.
• Are there amazing things I can do now that I couldn't do at 22...or 28...or even 35? Absolutely. 
• Could it really be true that, even at my age, each year older might mean more awesomeness? Hmm. I think I'm on to something here. 

And so, here is a list of some (not all) of the awesome things you can do because you are (almost) 40.

1. You know a little something about wine, you don't choose (usually) based on pretty labels, and you can afford the bottles you want to drink.
2. You embrace change and know that, even when it's scary, charting new courses is a part of finding success. 
3. You know and value your true friends, and you make time for each other. 
4. But you also know that you do not have to be friends with anyone who isn't bringing positivity to your life. 
5. You can eat bacon any time you want.
6. You know that life is short, and taking risks is necessary to take full advantage of the time we have here. 
7. But you also know that life is long, and it's best to surround yourself with the people that make you the happiest. 
8. You are brave. And not the silly, blind braveness of your '20s. The strong, confident, I can-kick-the-shit-out-of-life kind of brave that changes lives. 
9. You can buy the shoes or the handbag or the diamond earrings for no special reason at all. 
10. You decide what looks good on you, rock whatever you want, and show off whatever body part you choose simply because it makes you feel good.
11. You can say no.
12. You make pain-free sacrifices for your family because what makes them happy makes you happy.
13. You can be wrong, say you're sorry, admit your faults. And then you learn from it and move on. 
14. You take long weekends with your partner or your girlfriends and go big in a way you never would have dreamed when you were in your '20s. 
15. You make good choices, you make bad choices, you make miracles, you make missteps, you make great things happen, you make massive mistakes, but always, you own it all. 

One thing to note: Can 40 year-olds drink like they did in their '20s without any repercussions? Unfortunately, this is is a no. 

However, can 40 year-olds look ahead to another decade that just keeps getting more awesome? Absolutely yes.

I'll take that trade-off. 

Part Time Party Girl

WARNING.  Shocking statement ahead.

It appears that I may not be able to party the way I could when I was 24.  I know, GASP, right?  In fact, I am actually thinking that it might be time to retire the "Full Time Party Girl" from my self-description.  Or, at the very least, amend it to "Part Time (As Long As There Is Ample Recovery Time) Party Girl".

Honestly, usually, these days, I'm quite happy with going part time.  Content with the much quieter lifestyle I've created.  Early to bed and clarity of mind and all that.

Usually.  Because even though green smoothies and detox tea are terrific for breakfast almost every morning, sometimes you just really need want bacon and a Bloody Mary as big as your head.  Sometimes it's necessary okay to revert back to your full time party person status.  Sometimes, very rarely, but sometimes, you might even need to pull a double.  (Or a triple?)  Yes, your recovery time will be exponentially increased, and there will be much less clarity about the night(s) before than back in the day, but you, with your years of experience & drive, are up to the task.  Sometimes you just need to listen to that devil on your shoulder.  This is especially true when there is an open bar.

But then, there will come a moment when you are tired and burnt out, when you begin preferring water to wine, when flirting has become more forced than fun and your party clothes are too binding.  And that's when you will make your way home.  You will crawl into your own bed made with clean, fresh sheets occupied by the ones that love you most of all, and you will retire your full time status.  The next few days will involve a lot green juice, kale, and possibly 2-a-days.  You will go to bed at your usual 10pm bedtime. You will rest & take your vitamins.  You will know that you cannot party the way you could when you were 24.  But you will also know you that still got it.

And that, for me, and maybe for you, is called balance.

An Autumn Love Story

October is here which means fall is here which means I long for Michigan.

I love Seattle, but every year when the seasons begin to change and the smell of fall is in the air, I really miss Michigan.  I miss my family and my friends and the seasons and the friendly and the accents and the Lakes and the smells.  Each season has a distinct smell in Michigan.  You can step outside, breathe deep and know exactly the time of year.  Fall is the best, it's my favorite season, my favorite smell.  It's pumpkin pie and crisp leaves, tart apples and Halloween, thick tights and bittersweet endings, spicy bourbon and Friday night football games, family and fireplaces, chilly mornings and melancholy nights.  It's a little sad, a little disappointing, a little gray.  And then, just as quickly, it becomes warm and delicious and bright.  Sunny and shiny, chilly, but with the promise of an evening fire.

This is every day during autumn in Michigan.  It doesn't happen as often here.  It is a lucky day, and ever-so-slightly sad day, a day made for a glass of Cabernet, to smell fall here.  And then suddenly, there's that familiar tug, that pull towards the middle.

No matter where I am, no matter how deep I travel, my compass always points towards Michigan.  Always my home, forever fall.  

Lights Out!

A few weekends ago, Boo & I took a little trip out to a place called Herron Island where our bestie, Abra, had rented a house, and, another bestie, Laetitia was visiting from Prague.  Herron Island is pretty remote. No stores, no bars, no nothing on the island except for lovely homes & beautiful water views.  Ahhh.

The weekend we were there, the beautiful views were marred by a little bit of rain.  Okay, a lot of rain.  No big deal!  When you've got good friends, a box of wine, and Team Umizoomi on Amazon Prime, you're in good shape.  We spent the day working, reading, playing blocks, cooking, watching bad TV & crappy movies.  (Well, only if you qualify "Dude, Where's My Car" as crappy which I most definitely do not.)  We watched as the rain grew progressively harder, and we cheered as some rare lightening lit up the Pacific Northwest sky.  All in all, it was the kind of relaxing awesomeness you can only achieve on an island with no nothing.

And then it happened.

One of those rare bolts of lightening lit up the sky, and our little island house turned dark & silent.  Yes, the power had gone out.  Shit.

We had just settled in!  We had just queued up Umi on the laptop for Boo.  We had just started a "Project Runway" marathon.  We had just laid out our dinner plans which most definitely required electricity.  And - OH MY GOD - our mobiles weren't working and neither was the WiFi!  This was a true emergency.

After the realization that we could not check Facebook for an unknown amount of time had fully sunk in, we knew what we had to do.  We all took a different floor of the house to search for candles & flashlights.  We pulled out all of Boo's toys & books to keep him entertained.  We lit candles & placed them strategically around the house.  We corked(?) the box of wine.  And for three hours, we talked to each other.  We played pillows with Boo.  We watched the rain.  We weren't distracted by a text or a tweet.  We didn't pause midway through a conversation to check our email.  We didn't sit in silence for a straight 42 minutes while Tim Gunn & Heidi Klum ran commentary.  We enjoyed both the silence & the dark.

But, three hours later, when the electricity popped back on, we all cheered.  We celebrated that we could once again catalog our every move on social.  We rejoined the "Project Runway" marathon, and we all checked our phones.  Boo watched one more episode of Umi before bed.  But it felt a little like the end of something.

The lit candles were the one indication that the power had ever been off.  And, as we drank our boxed wine and watched the flickering of the flames, we made a decision.  The power would go out again the next day too - whether it wanted to or not.

And so, on our last night on the island, we enjoyed a self-imposed 2-hour blackout.  No phones, no WiFi, no TV, no laptops, no lights - just 3 good girlfriends (and a little Boo too), a box of wine, and a cutthroat game of Monopoly.

Sometimes you can just see everything so much better in the dark.

Hottie Hot Hot!

"I think I reached my hotness plateau awhile back, and I'm now on a slow & steady decline from here on out," I said to Tim a few weeks back.

He disagreed because he is a good man.  (He is also not stupid.)

I feel like it's true though.  And it pisses me off.  Aging is brutal - especially when you have lived the (ahem) party girl lifestyle that I have led.  And don't even get me started on having a damn baby.  Your body isn't for you (or your partner) anymore, that's for sure.  And as the years go by, it seems to take a lot more time, money and energy to make myself look halfway decent when 5 or 6 years ago, I rolled out of bed looking pretty damn cute. 

This decline of hotness also seems to be in direct correlation with the decline of men hitting on me.  I mean, yeah, I'm married and I have a kid an all that, but STILL.  It's nice to be hit on once in awhile, right?  It's always nice to know that someone besides your husband finds you attractive.  And maybe, as a liberated woman, I shouldn't say this out loud, but it feels a little like validation.  Or at least it makes me feel like the 2 hours and 45 minutes I spent getting ready were worth it. 

Which leads me to last night....

I went to a party last night.  A work party.  I did not plan on staying out for long.  I didn't think much of it really.  I still spent some time trying to improve my hotness, but nothing crazy.  Well, I did get a spray tan, but so what?  I'm in Austin!

I don't know if it's because SXSW is like Spring Break for grown-ups.  (And geeks.)  I don't know if it's because I was away from my every day life, or if it's because my tramp stamp lower-back tattoo was peeking out of my jeans.  Or maybe it was simply the 4 glasses of wine I had on a empty stomach.  Whatever the reason, it was a good night for hotness.  I was asked for my number three times.  Two different guys asked me to have drinks with them after the party was over.  And another guy - out of the blue - said to me, "You are really sexy."  I wasn't even flirting with him.  No, seriously.

And, later that night, alone in my hotel room after leaving the party alone (hello, I'm married!), I realized something.  Hotness is a state of mind. 

And I am back on the upward climb.

"In Wine, There's Truth." (And also awesome hilarity & insight)

Yikes, it's been a month since I last posted.  What in the world have I been doing with my time?

I had someone ask me the other day about my "process" for writing or blogging.  I had to think about it.  I don't really have a process.  (Yes, Gentle Reader, that may be the reason why I only blog once a month. You are right.  Now knock it off.)

Well, I might have a process.  It kind of goes like this.

• 545am:  Wake up.  No, I'm not Michelle Obama.  I have an 18-month old, yo.  
• 546am - 8am:  Tend to said child.  Check emails.  Watch Yo Gabba Gabba and wonder how Jack Black can wear that outfit without being self-conscious.
• 8am:  Wake up Tim so he can take over parenting duties.
• 830am - whatever time I am done:  Work.  Think to myself a variety of times throughout this time frame, "Oh, that would make a great blog post" while immediately forgetting what that might be.
• Whatever time I am done - 4pm:  Grocery, clean, laundry, work out (possibly), catch up on gossip news, continue to be inspired to write something awesomely hilarious or insightful which I then, once again, forget.
• 4pm - 7pm:  Pick my child up and begin my other job where my title is "Mommy, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Mo, Mo, Mo".  Have complete creative brain freeze involving anything besides making up awesomely hilarious songs and games to keep my child calm and amused.  
• 7pm:  Make dinner.  Think about nothing except that I forgot to eat all day.
• 8pm:  Finally time for a glass of wine!  Drink 3 1.5 glasses while watching TV.  Repeatedly think to myself, "Oh yes! I'm definitely writing about [insert awesomely hilarious or insightful topic here] tomorrow.  I definitely don't need to write it down because clearly I will remember this amazing idea."  No, really, I *actually* think that.
• 11pm:  Go to bed without recording any of said ideas.  Remember nothing the next morning except that I had an awesomely hilarious or insightful idea last night.

Is it a process?  Yes.  I never said it was a good one.  Imagine what an awesomely hilarious & insightful blog this would be if I just drank wine while writing.

Hey....I might be on to something here.

Pretty Good Year

As I've said, I am a professional marketer, a professional mama, and a professional good time girl. (Note: this does not mean "prostitute".)  Gentle Reader, that is THREE full time jobs. How in the world was there ever time for everything in 2012?

1. Successfully made it to my son's first birthday
2. Planned a wedding IN MY BACKYARD while working & baby-wrangling full-time
3. Overhauled our entire home including paint, carpet, and various other home improvement projects
4. Coped with the baby blues and cried quite a bit
5. Learned that taking 30 minutes to eat lunch silent and alone is essential to my well-being
6. Lost the baby weight 
7. Gained some of it back
8. Finally married the love of my life after a 7-year courtship
9. Reconnected with several of my closest friends from the past 
10. Learned the importance of making time for friends, both near & far
11. Looked out at a sea of faces of all of the people I love most in my life and felt like the luckiest girl in the world
12. Ran (mostly) my first 5K
13. Had a fight with my Mom that has likely forever changed the nature of our relationship
14. Finally embraced my love of being a mother
15. Came to the sad conclusion that wheat & dairy do not make me feel good
16. Colored a lot of gray hair and obsessed over many new lines on my face
17. Said goodbye to my Grandma 
18. Spent all day at a cabana in Vegas with 8 of my very best girls
19. Unexpectedly, felt endless gratitude & respect for my in-laws
20. Drank my weight in beer in Bend on our very short but sweet honeymoon
21. Cried and cried and cried and hurt and hurt and hurt for those lost and the families affected by so many tragedies of this past year
22. Discovered that my husband is not only a great partner, he's a terrific father
23. Celebrated births and grieved the death of relationships with my dear Seattle girlfriends
24. Took a giant leap of faith and left my secure job to pursue a new career 
25. Continued my love affair with wine
26. Watched too much reality TV
27. Made peace with myself for some of the larger mistakes I've made
28. Swelled with joy & pride as I watched my son roll over, crawl, take his first steps, say his first words, give his first kisses, snuggle his first stuffed toy, eat his first foods, and call out "Mommy!" for the first time
29. Felt both joy & sorrow more deeply than ever before 
30. Thought to myself time and time and time again, "I must be one of the luckiest women on Earth."

Yeah, it was a pretty good year.  

No Whiskers On Kittens Here

I realize that I am no Oprah.  Most of my favorite things cost less than $10 (with a few notable exceptions).  And you will not receive any of them after reading this blog post.  Still, screaming in excitement is encouraged.  Some day I may have Oprah's reach, and, when I do, your commitment to this blog will go far.  You can count on that.

My Favorite Things 2012

1. Birchbox subscription
I love getting mail, and I love beauty samples.  Put the two together, and you've got a Birch Box subscription!  Buy one for yourself.  Give one to your girlfriend.  Swap the perfume samples with each other.  Thank me later.

2. Mt Townsend Creamery
Glorious handmade cheeses from the Pacific Northwest.  Friendly, knowledgeable cheesemakers.  Holiday Gift Boxes available online.  You can't go wrong with any of their cheese choices, but I'm a fan of Seastack, the old stand-by.

3.  Kale
Yes, I know it's ever-so-popular right now.  But for good reason:  it's not only a nutritional powerhouse, it's totally adaptable to pretty much any dish.  I toss it in everything - salads, soups, sauces, smoothies, pizza, hash, stir-fries.  Consider it your new staple.

4.  The Voice
Yeah, it's a guilty pleasure. Just try and resist Cee Lo's dirty old man leering or Blake Shelton's drunken barbs.  It's sheer escapism.  And I wouldn't want it any other way.

5.  Sprout organic fruit & veggie pouches
They're organic which is important to me.  They are yummy which is important to my kid.  Boo started holding them himself when he was 10 months or so, and a whole new world was born.  Although a bunch of other companies make these as well, the Sprout brand just seem to be Boo's favorite.  Don't leave home without one.

6.  Mary's Gone Crackers - Black Pepper
Gluten-free, dairy-free crackers that are nutty and crunchy with just a little bit of a pepper kick and stand up to strong cheeses, creamy dips, and thick spreads.  Ridiculous good.

7.  Kitchen Aid Mixer
Yeah, I know I'm a little late to the party on this one, but I seriously don't know how I lived before this thing.  It has tons of uses, tons of fun attachments you can add on (hello, ice cream maker!), and it just looks darn cute sitting on your counter.

8.  Domino Beauty Boutique
My newest discovery (thanks to Asia of Sparrow Soirees) in Greenwood.  Love my haircut, love my various waxed areas (ahem), love their atmosphere.  Go see the ladies of Domino - they'll make you even prettier that you already are.

9.  Fromager d'Affinois
If you know me at all, you know that this cheese is my thing.  Oh man, is it my thing - especially as a topping for the aforementioned Mary's Gone Crackers.  It's kind of like a brie, but it's just so buttery, so creamy, so ooey-gooey, it's irresistible.

10.  Ellen Barrett workout DVDs
When you enjoy Fromager d'Affinois as much as I do, you must have some balance.  This is where Ellen Barrett comes in.  Almost all of her workouts are done in bare feet (!), and they are pilates/yoga/dance fusions. Even if you hate working out at home - or at all - Ellen's your girl.

11.  Vegenaise
God knows that I am not a vegan.  But I have the biggest crush on Veganaise right now.  I even use it to make egg salad which is weird, but somehow makes sense.  Try it before you throw carnivorous stones.

12.  Doug & Melissa Toys
My kid loves these retro-ish wooden toys from Doug & Melissa.  They're super sturdy, well-made, and they will occupy your child for a least 4 minutes at a time.  That's 45 in grown-up minutes.

13.  A - Z Pinot Noir
I like to save the best for last, and as you all know, for me, that means wine.  This Oregon Pinot has been one of my frontrunners for the past year.  Juicy & fruity with a fabulous finish, this is my winter go-to.  Try it today.  Preferably accompanied by some Fromager d'Affinois.

P.S.  Santa, if you're reading this, please consider any and all of the above as appropriate stocking stuffers.

Happy Holidays!

Come Fly With Me

Babies On A Plane!  ...coming soon to a 747 near you!

Yes, Will has now completed the infant equivalent of a full marathon:  SEA - DTW - SEA.  No training, no dry runs, just a let's-do-this-thing mentality and a swaddle. 

Note:  You may not think that this post has any relevance to the bar blog, but IN FACT, just add alcohol and a plane becomes a FLYING BAR.  Think about that for a minute.  A flying bar.

So, yes, SEA - DTW - SEA, nonstop on Delta, but a 4-hour+ flight just the same.  And honestly, the kid was awesome.  Just as regular bars have a lot of background noise, various lights, and things for babies to stare at, flying bars are the same - just a lot more expensive. 

Parents, I know you're on to all of the little tips and tricks that make flying with a kid easier, so I'll spare you.  However, as you have come to expect, I have some tips for you that might make "taking the edge off" a bit easier. 

1. Arrive early.  Yeah, yeah, getting through security by yourself with an infant, a stroller, a carseat, a diaper bag, 4 blankets, 3 bottles, 18 diapers, wipes, 4 pacis, and an US Weekly might take a while.  But more importantly, you need to have time to hit up one of the airport bars pre-flight. Having a large $14 beer will greatly reduce the stress of boarding your flight with said items and 2 hands.
2. Suck up to the counter agent.  If there are extra seats available on the flying bar, they can block the seat next to you to give you a little more room.  And by a little more room, I mean space for a tray table to open to hold your wine. 
3. Smile sweetly at your seatmeats while also looking slightly manic.  Chances are, someone near you is a parent or a grandparent.  They are quite familiar with that crazy look in a new parent's eye that says "Someone please take my child so I can pee, eat a few peanuts and gulp a glass of Chardonnay before I lose my freakin' mind."  Folks will take pity on you.  If you manage to brush your hair and avoid spit-up stains on the day, you might even get the guy next to you to lend you his tray table. 
4. Have your credit card at the ready.  When you first pile into the flying bar, organize you and your baby before everyone else has boarded.  Get out everything you might need in arm's reach and put it in the pocket in front of you.  This includes your credit card.  Otherwise, the chances of you being able to reach it when the flying bartenders come around with the wine are minimal.  You don't want to miss this opportunity.  It may not happen again. 
5. Finally, alert the folks at your destination of your needs when you arrive.  After your long day of hauling more crap that you ever thought humanly possible, holding your squirming baby while sitting for 4+ hours, seeking out hard-to-find elevators because you can't take the escalators, and overall just being a freakin' superwoman, YOU DESERVE A BIG GLASS OF WINE.   

P.S.  Does anyone else love the idea of a Babies On A Plane and Go The Fuck To Sleep mash-up from Samuel L. Jackson?  There's definitely something there. 

Baby in Bartell's

There are some days that you just can't take your baby to a bar.  Those are usually the days when you are most in need of a visit to a place that serves alcohol in copious amounts.  Do not fret.  You always have the option of consuming at home!  It's cheaper too.

Will and I had one of those days on Friday.  In a two birds, one stone scenario, we headed out on a walk to Bartell's.  The walk was to calm Will, the destination, which helpfully sells both wine and Pretzel M&Ms, was to help Mommy.

While shopping, Will woke up and decided he hated Bartell's, hated his Graco, and generally hated Friday.  Undeterred, I motored around the store, grabbing whatever alcohol and chocolate I happened to see first.  As we checked out, the following scene played out.

Cashier:  "Do you need a bag for your wine?"
Will:  Baby scream.
Me:  "No.  I'm going to drink it on the way home."
Cashier & Shoppers behind me:  Silent horrified stares.
Me:  Wild eyes, crazy smile.
Will:  Longer, louder baby scream.

And scene.

Sometimes we have to make our own fun.