"It's not fair."
Nope, not from the mouths of babes, but instead uttered repeatedly by a 35-year old woman at 530am on Friday morning.
I'm not proud.
Friday was my morning to "sleep in" until 730am. Sleeping in until 730am is part of the new reality. At any rate, I was *really* looking forward to Friday's lie-in.
Will had other plans for us.
At 500am, he starting moving around. At 515am, he started chatting and rolling his paci along the bars of his crib. At 520am, the whining began. And at 530am, I knew there was no more sleep to be had. The screaming started. And it wasn't coming from Will.
"It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not FAIR!" I slammed around the room like a petulant child. If I didn't get to sleep in, I was going to make damn sure no one else was sleeping either. Like I said, I'm not proud.
After Will and I were well into our morning routine, I had managed to calm down a bit. I held my perfect & healthy 7-month old son knowing that he will always have everything he needs. We snuggled in our cozy & warm home full of love and food and family. I have a partner & a son, and Will has two parents in the same home.
No, it really *isn't* fair how lucky we are.
Sometimes the new reality just needs a little perspective. It just takes a little longer to find it at 530 in the morning.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Why Don't You Bring Your Baby To The Bar Anymore?
My last post was on Halloween. I don't think it will surprise anyone that I went back to work 6 days later. When you are a working parent, the time one has to take babies to bars and then blog about it is greatly diminished.
Let me catch you up. Will is now 7 months old. Here is the new reality.
It's the one day a week that all three of us have together. We decide that, for research's sake, of course, we should take our baby to a bar. Obviously, we can't go at night because Will has to be in bed by 630pm. We can't go from 11a-1p because that's when he takes his long nap. We can't go after 4pm because that's when he gets crabby. That leaves after 1pm and before he needs to take his short late afternoon nap. But on this particular day, Will naps longer than usual. When he gets up, we need to give him his cereal & fruit. Apparently, he no longer likes apricots, and he spits them out all over himself, me, the floor, and the cat. Now we all need to change clothes and clean up apricot slop from the kitchen. Of course, since he didn't eat his fruit, now he needs a bottle. Okay, Will's has his bottle, we're all in clean clothes, let's head out the door!
Wait.
It's time to tag team. Tim gets Will's coat and hat and carseat and blankie and paci. Will does not want wear his coat or his hat so he is screaming as Tim attempts to wrangle him. Meanwhile, I am putting together a diaper bag for this 1 hour journey to the local pub. He'll need 3 diapers and wipes, an extra outfit in case of a blowout, 2 pacis in case the other one gets lost, 3 types of toys for amusement's sake, a full bottle, a burp cloth, another hat, and his stuffed bear.
Will is in his carseat and he appears to be calm. We have our coats on. Keys are in hand, and the diaper bag's on my shoulder. Let's get that beer.
And then a ghastly, horrible sound emanates from my child.
Ah, shit.
After extracting Will from his carseat, from his coat, and from his clothes, and cleaning the blowout and the child, it is now 4pm. He is crabby, needs his late nap, and refuses to wear socks. Sigh.
Maybe we'll make it to the bar next week. As for tonight, boxed wine & PBR? Why not?
Let me catch you up. Will is now 7 months old. Here is the new reality.
It's the one day a week that all three of us have together. We decide that, for research's sake, of course, we should take our baby to a bar. Obviously, we can't go at night because Will has to be in bed by 630pm. We can't go from 11a-1p because that's when he takes his long nap. We can't go after 4pm because that's when he gets crabby. That leaves after 1pm and before he needs to take his short late afternoon nap. But on this particular day, Will naps longer than usual. When he gets up, we need to give him his cereal & fruit. Apparently, he no longer likes apricots, and he spits them out all over himself, me, the floor, and the cat. Now we all need to change clothes and clean up apricot slop from the kitchen. Of course, since he didn't eat his fruit, now he needs a bottle. Okay, Will's has his bottle, we're all in clean clothes, let's head out the door!
Wait.
It's time to tag team. Tim gets Will's coat and hat and carseat and blankie and paci. Will does not want wear his coat or his hat so he is screaming as Tim attempts to wrangle him. Meanwhile, I am putting together a diaper bag for this 1 hour journey to the local pub. He'll need 3 diapers and wipes, an extra outfit in case of a blowout, 2 pacis in case the other one gets lost, 3 types of toys for amusement's sake, a full bottle, a burp cloth, another hat, and his stuffed bear.
Will is in his carseat and he appears to be calm. We have our coats on. Keys are in hand, and the diaper bag's on my shoulder. Let's get that beer.
And then a ghastly, horrible sound emanates from my child.
Ah, shit.
After extracting Will from his carseat, from his coat, and from his clothes, and cleaning the blowout and the child, it is now 4pm. He is crabby, needs his late nap, and refuses to wear socks. Sigh.
Maybe we'll make it to the bar next week. As for tonight, boxed wine & PBR? Why not?
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Zombies V. Babies: Battle Halloween
A very important discovery has been made over this Halloween weekend: Babies and Zombies are strikingly, and often, frighteningly, similar.
Case in point:
Case in point:
- Babies and zombies both communicate in a series of low grunts, groans, and moans.
- Both are completely and totally tireless in their pursuit of what sustains them.
- After a prolonged encounter with either one (especially in the middle of the night), one feels as if one's brain has been obliterated.
- The double tap is oh-so-necessary when both battling a zombie and trying to put a baby to bed.
- Neither care whether it is day or night. Remember, they never get tired!
- Even a brief interaction with a zombie or a baby can inspire deep fear into the hearts of many.
- Cardio. Endurance is key to your survival.
- In order to avoid waking either beast, BE QUIET.
- Zombies and babies cannot climb. Thankfully.
- And finally, whether battling in a post-apocalyptic zombie world or adjusting to life with an infant, the most important thing to remember is...enjoy the little things. They're all you've got left now.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
NO Minors Tonight!
Sometimes you just can't bring your baby to the bar. I mean, you love your baby and all, and of course, you want to spend every single second of every day just snuggling him nonstop until you both want to scream. But you can't.
No.
And so, to keep from losing your new-parent-mind, you MUST recruit a good friend or two to look after your child for a few hours - he will be fine - and get yourself out a good old American No Minors Bar. Seriously, do it now.
After realizing that we, in fact, were quite close to refering to each other exclusively as "Mommy and Daddy" even when talking to each other, we knew that we had to get out of this house STAT. I slapped on some lip gloss and heels(!), dropped off the little Bean with some friends, and headed to South Lake Union to one of Tom Douglas' newest creations, Brave Horse Tavern.
Tom pretty much owns Seattle at this point. Every experience we've had at his places has been amazing, and Brave Horse was no different. The atmosphere was exactly what I was looking for - raucous and loud. It's a huge bar with communal tables, TVs everywhere, and a big fat bar. The brick walls definitely add to the noisy-ness. If you are looking for an intimate date night, skip this joint.
Tim and me, not looking for romance, but just a place to get our drink on, cozied up to the bar. Bartender was super friendly and changed the nearest TV to the Tigers game for us. Their beer selection was great (not Naked City fabulous, but great), and we both ordered pint that were served in super cold frosty 20oz pint glasses. We both loved the menu, and although the sandwiches sounded great, we decided to share some apps so we could try more stuff. Especially because the first thing we saw on the menu was...
Fried Cheese Curds!
Um, yes please! And holy shit (see, you can swear when you don't bring your baby to the bar), they were amazing. Hot and gooey, deep-fried and greasy. Amazing. And you get a ton of them too. We followed these up with a hot pretzel and the "cannibal" crostini. Okay, so yes, the pretzel is something that Brave Horse is known for, and it was totally good. They serve it with 3 types of mustard, and they also have several choices of dipping sauces you can add. We (stupidly) did not order any dipping sauces, and we would not make that mistake again. I think it woudl have elevated the pretzel to the next level. The cannibal crostini was topped with beef tartare, pickled onions and some sort of amazing sauce. Beef tartare was a new experience for both of us, and one we are definitely inclined to repeat. This dish was incredible.
Tom Douglas, once again, you did not let us down. Thank you for a bar that does not allow our baby.
P.S. In other news, if you think you're going to hit up Dante's Inferno Dogs at 10pm on a Saturday night because that's the time you have to head home from the bar because you have a baby at home, think again.
No.
And so, to keep from losing your new-parent-mind, you MUST recruit a good friend or two to look after your child for a few hours - he will be fine - and get yourself out a good old American No Minors Bar. Seriously, do it now.
After realizing that we, in fact, were quite close to refering to each other exclusively as "Mommy and Daddy" even when talking to each other, we knew that we had to get out of this house STAT. I slapped on some lip gloss and heels(!), dropped off the little Bean with some friends, and headed to South Lake Union to one of Tom Douglas' newest creations, Brave Horse Tavern.
Tom pretty much owns Seattle at this point. Every experience we've had at his places has been amazing, and Brave Horse was no different. The atmosphere was exactly what I was looking for - raucous and loud. It's a huge bar with communal tables, TVs everywhere, and a big fat bar. The brick walls definitely add to the noisy-ness. If you are looking for an intimate date night, skip this joint.
Tim and me, not looking for romance, but just a place to get our drink on, cozied up to the bar. Bartender was super friendly and changed the nearest TV to the Tigers game for us. Their beer selection was great (not Naked City fabulous, but great), and we both ordered pint that were served in super cold frosty 20oz pint glasses. We both loved the menu, and although the sandwiches sounded great, we decided to share some apps so we could try more stuff. Especially because the first thing we saw on the menu was...
Fried Cheese Curds!
Um, yes please! And holy shit (see, you can swear when you don't bring your baby to the bar), they were amazing. Hot and gooey, deep-fried and greasy. Amazing. And you get a ton of them too. We followed these up with a hot pretzel and the "cannibal" crostini. Okay, so yes, the pretzel is something that Brave Horse is known for, and it was totally good. They serve it with 3 types of mustard, and they also have several choices of dipping sauces you can add. We (stupidly) did not order any dipping sauces, and we would not make that mistake again. I think it woudl have elevated the pretzel to the next level. The cannibal crostini was topped with beef tartare, pickled onions and some sort of amazing sauce. Beef tartare was a new experience for both of us, and one we are definitely inclined to repeat. This dish was incredible.
Tom Douglas, once again, you did not let us down. Thank you for a bar that does not allow our baby.
P.S. In other news, if you think you're going to hit up Dante's Inferno Dogs at 10pm on a Saturday night because that's the time you have to head home from the bar because you have a baby at home, think again.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Bless You Boys
You may not know this, but Will loves baseball. Yes, it's true. His father thinks he's a Yankees fan just because he does have a Yankees onesie, but he is wrong. Will loves the Detroit Tigers. And because of this love of the Tigers, Will demanded that we watch Game 4 on Wednesday afternoon.
Okay, young son, we said. Whatever you're into, we'll make it happen. And so began our quest for a Seattle-area sports bar that is open in the afternoon which also allows babies.
Not as easy of a feat as one might think.
After discussing numerous possibilties including WingDome (Will was sick of it), Auto Battery (doesn't open until 3pm), The Pig and Whistle (doesn't open until 4pm), Bleachers (No Minors), The Ram (no TVs in the dining room), and Ballard Loft (just not feeling it). We finally landed on Magnolia Village Pub. Quiet little pub so no stress bringing Will the Tigers Superfan in there plus individual TVs at each table. Plus, Magnolia is such a cute little neighborhood, it was a great place for a pre-game walk.
Magnolia Village Pub totally lived up to our expectations too. We both had a great meal off the nice-sized pub menu - hello, waffle fries! The service was friendly and totally not freaked out by Will's Tigers's obsession. They were out of several of their beers on tap, but their selection was still decent.
Unfortunately, what Will does not love is rain delays. He was so pissed off about the over 2-hour delay that we were forced to move on before the game actually started. And after the Tigers lost in the 11th inning...watch out, yo.
Note: My friend, Asia, a wise and worldly mom of 2, reccomends Fremont's Red Door as well as Hale's Brewery in Ballard. We've got them on our list. Stay tuned.
Okay, young son, we said. Whatever you're into, we'll make it happen. And so began our quest for a Seattle-area sports bar that is open in the afternoon which also allows babies.
Not as easy of a feat as one might think.
After discussing numerous possibilties including WingDome (Will was sick of it), Auto Battery (doesn't open until 3pm), The Pig and Whistle (doesn't open until 4pm), Bleachers (No Minors), The Ram (no TVs in the dining room), and Ballard Loft (just not feeling it). We finally landed on Magnolia Village Pub. Quiet little pub so no stress bringing Will the Tigers Superfan in there plus individual TVs at each table. Plus, Magnolia is such a cute little neighborhood, it was a great place for a pre-game walk.
Magnolia Village Pub totally lived up to our expectations too. We both had a great meal off the nice-sized pub menu - hello, waffle fries! The service was friendly and totally not freaked out by Will's Tigers's obsession. They were out of several of their beers on tap, but their selection was still decent.
Unfortunately, what Will does not love is rain delays. He was so pissed off about the over 2-hour delay that we were forced to move on before the game actually started. And after the Tigers lost in the 11th inning...watch out, yo.
Note: My friend, Asia, a wise and worldly mom of 2, reccomends Fremont's Red Door as well as Hale's Brewery in Ballard. We've got them on our list. Stay tuned.
Monday, October 10, 2011
The Naked Truth
Apparently, my child, like Tobias Funke, is a Never Nude.
After losing his mind when being forced to change out of his PJs and put on a clean diaper, we decided it was time to leave the house for a while. A walk for Will, beer for Mommy & Daddy - it's a win/win.
In keeping with the spirit of nudity, we decide to hit up Naked City Brewery, a great little alehouse in Greenwood. Naked City is actually Will's favorite bar as he has been there several times since birth including at age 6 days. It's kind of his local. We love this place because we can walk to it, they have 20+ interesting micro-brews plus cider on tap, the bartenders are amzing, and, suprisingly, they are super baby-friendly. There is a clear separation between the bar and the restaurant, but you don't feel like you are being exiled. And if you are baby-free, you can totally sit at the bar without feeling like you are at Gymboree. They also serve a mean hot pretzel.
Unfortunately for us, Will did not forgot about the trauma of the earlier clothes-changing incident, and he was not super cooperative. After a bit of fussing, Tim took him around the block to calm him down which prompted our favorite bartender, Karina, to thank us for being such amazing parents. Yes, I sighed as I sipped my beer in peace for the 7 minutes they were gone, we are amazing parents.
Note: Naked City is open at 4pm during the week, but they open up at noon on weekends. All day happy hour on Sunday.
After losing his mind when being forced to change out of his PJs and put on a clean diaper, we decided it was time to leave the house for a while. A walk for Will, beer for Mommy & Daddy - it's a win/win.
In keeping with the spirit of nudity, we decide to hit up Naked City Brewery, a great little alehouse in Greenwood. Naked City is actually Will's favorite bar as he has been there several times since birth including at age 6 days. It's kind of his local. We love this place because we can walk to it, they have 20+ interesting micro-brews plus cider on tap, the bartenders are amzing, and, suprisingly, they are super baby-friendly. There is a clear separation between the bar and the restaurant, but you don't feel like you are being exiled. And if you are baby-free, you can totally sit at the bar without feeling like you are at Gymboree. They also serve a mean hot pretzel.
Unfortunately for us, Will did not forgot about the trauma of the earlier clothes-changing incident, and he was not super cooperative. After a bit of fussing, Tim took him around the block to calm him down which prompted our favorite bartender, Karina, to thank us for being such amazing parents. Yes, I sighed as I sipped my beer in peace for the 7 minutes they were gone, we are amazing parents.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Come Fly With Me
Babies On A Plane! ...coming soon to a 747 near you!
Yes, Will has now completed the infant equivalent of a full marathon: SEA - DTW - SEA. No training, no dry runs, just a let's-do-this-thing mentality and a swaddle.
Note: You may not think that this post has any relevance to the bar blog, but IN FACT, just add alcohol and a plane becomes a FLYING BAR. Think about that for a minute. A flying bar.
So, yes, SEA - DTW - SEA, nonstop on Delta, but a 4-hour+ flight just the same. And honestly, the kid was awesome. Just as regular bars have a lot of background noise, various lights, and things for babies to stare at, flying bars are the same - just a lot more expensive.
Parents, I know you're on to all of the little tips and tricks that make flying with a kid easier, so I'll spare you. However, as you have come to expect, I have some tips for you that might make "taking the edge off" a bit easier.
Yes, Will has now completed the infant equivalent of a full marathon: SEA - DTW - SEA. No training, no dry runs, just a let's-do-this-thing mentality and a swaddle.
Note: You may not think that this post has any relevance to the bar blog, but IN FACT, just add alcohol and a plane becomes a FLYING BAR. Think about that for a minute. A flying bar.
So, yes, SEA - DTW - SEA, nonstop on Delta, but a 4-hour+ flight just the same. And honestly, the kid was awesome. Just as regular bars have a lot of background noise, various lights, and things for babies to stare at, flying bars are the same - just a lot more expensive.
Parents, I know you're on to all of the little tips and tricks that make flying with a kid easier, so I'll spare you. However, as you have come to expect, I have some tips for you that might make "taking the edge off" a bit easier.
- Arrive early. Yeah, yeah, getting through security by yourself with an infant, a stroller, a carseat, a diaper bag, 4 blankets, 3 bottles, 18 diapers, wipes, 4 pacis, and an US Weekly might take a while. But more importantly, you need to have time to hit up one of the airport bars pre-flight. Having a large $14 beer will greatly reduce the stress of boarding your flight with said items and 2 hands.
- Suck up to the counter agent. If there are extra seats available on the flying bar, they can block the seat next to you to give you a little more room. And by a little more room, I mean space for a tray table to open to hold your wine.
- Smile sweetly at your seatmeats while also looking slightly manic. Chances are, someone near you is a parent or a grandparent. They are quite familiar with that crazy look in a new parent's eye that says "Someone please take my child so I can pee, eat a few peanuts and gulp a glass of Chardonnay before I lose my freakin' mind." Folks will take pity on you. If you manage to brush your hair and avoid spit-up stains on the day, you might even get the guy next to you to lend you his tray table.
- Have your credit card at the ready. When you first pile into the flying bar, organize you and your baby before everyone else has boarded. Get out everything you might need in arm's reach and put it in the pocket in front of you. This includes your credit card. Otherwise, the chances of you being able to reach it when the flying bartenders come around with the wine are minimal. You don't want to miss this opportunity. It may not happen again.
- Finally, alert the folks at your destination of your needs when you arrive. After your long day of hauling more crap that you ever thought humanly possible, holding your squirming baby while sitting for 4+ hours, seeking out hard-to-find elevators because you can't take the escalators, and overall just being a freakin' superwoman, YOU DESERVE A BIG GLASS OF WINE.
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